hero to zero
27 April 2009 @ 5:52 PM
was feeling damn down and lethargic the last 2 weeks and i was whining non-stop that airen knew my emo self was back! i practically had ZERO motivation to do anything except to slack at home, stone and sleep my life away. i was damn bloody lazy that i couldn't even be bothered to dress myself up and go work. think i haven't shape my brows for many weeks... *bleah*
i must be very sick - sick in the brain..
i even told my boss and ask her what's her motivation to go work everyday. very sweet of her to calculate and tell me that my motivation should be i'll be getting 160bucks at the end of each working day and how many pairs of charles&keith i can buy with the $$ ~ NICE!
i've heard stories bout how some of my friends are only taking home less than $1000 each month and they're still fighting to move on. so count myself fucking lucky to be earning what i'm earning now plus the 'benefits' i have..
BUT STILL.. i continue to think negative and be lazy..
i whined to many friends and of course, to him. he sees my laziness as his fault. he feels perhaps he did not do much or he's not treating me well enough for me to work hard for our future. when i heard that, i felt so ashamed all of a sudden. he's the one striving hard, working everyday with our interests at heart and yet, i'm the one always putting negative thoughts in him and in a way, pulling his morale down.
what touches me most is he actually sent a very sweet motivational sms to me this morning and boosting my confidence. awww.. *melt*
i think i better start to wake up and have more zest to life before i start losing him, my friends and my job.
he's my wake up call and i thank god for planting him in my life!
WAKE UP!!
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i must be very sick - sick in the brain..
i even told my boss and ask her what's her motivation to go work everyday. very sweet of her to calculate and tell me that my motivation should be i'll be getting 160bucks at the end of each working day and how many pairs of charles&keith i can buy with the $$ ~ NICE!
i've heard stories bout how some of my friends are only taking home less than $1000 each month and they're still fighting to move on. so count myself fucking lucky to be earning what i'm earning now plus the 'benefits' i have..
BUT STILL.. i continue to think negative and be lazy..
i whined to many friends and of course, to him. he sees my laziness as his fault. he feels perhaps he did not do much or he's not treating me well enough for me to work hard for our future. when i heard that, i felt so ashamed all of a sudden. he's the one striving hard, working everyday with our interests at heart and yet, i'm the one always putting negative thoughts in him and in a way, pulling his morale down.
what touches me most is he actually sent a very sweet motivational sms to me this morning and boosting my confidence. awww.. *melt*
i think i better start to wake up and have more zest to life before i start losing him, my friends and my job.
he's my wake up call and i thank god for planting him in my life!
WAKE UP!!
Labels: he-makes-me-smile, whiny, work
