i'm in deep shit.. me and my itchy backside has caused me in real deep shit.. who's the one who were sooo eager to study and signed up without much thoughts? who's the one who dragged her papa down to sign and make payments? and now.. who's the one who has second thoughts of leaving job and trying something new?!?!?!?

ME, ME and ME!!!!!!!

*sigh* i really have no idea man.. what should i do now? do i defer my studies plan and have my deposit forfeited?!?? but what if i don't get what i want?? then i'll have to sign up for the course and pay?!?! my dad would probably kill me.. argh!! this is so sickening and it keeps haunting me.. i have no clue at all on what to do?!

i guess what i have to do now is to check on all the necessities and if i really terminate now, do i get my deposit back? i need valid reason plus evidence!!!! damn.. and thank god lena has been constantly giving me advices.. thanks babe!!

i'm alwayz lost when i have to decide for my own life, my career, what i wanna do! can someone just bloody hell plan my life for me?!?!?! i am just plain lazy to think and plan and the worst part is, i'm UNSURE of what i want!!! my life is soooo aimless.. somebody please save me!! just give me some allowance regularly and i don't mind sitting there and rot for my whole life..

i'm sucky.. with a pea brain..